Part III

David Brooks:

It's just a disaster for the Republican Party. The country is in a panic now. They may not like the way the Democrats have passed the stimulus bill. But the idea that we're just going to... That government will have no role, the federal government has no role in this, that in a moment when only the federal government is big enough to actually do stuff- to just ignore all that and just say 'government is the problem, corruption, earmarks, wasteful spending,' it's just a form of nihilism. It's just not where country is it's not where the future of the country is. There's an intra-Republican debate: some people say the Republican Party lost its way because they got too moderate, some people say they got too weird or too conservative. He thinks they got too moderate. And so he's making that case. I think it's insane. I just think it's a disaster for the [Republican] Party. I just think it's unfortunate right now.

Jindal Had To Wake Up This Morning Knowing Who he Was, And What He Did Last Night, Part II

Think Progress Notes Jindal said this:

While some of the projects in the bill make sense, their legislation is larded with wasteful spending. It includes $300 million to buy new cars for the government. $8 billion for high speed rail projects such as magnetic levitation line from Las Vegas to Disney Land. And $140 million for something called ‘volcano monitoring.’

Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, DC.

Ha!

It's this weird thing...a volcano? I mean, if God wanted volcanoes to erupt he would just do it like when he flooded the world and only one bestiality-inspired boat was allowed to live. Volcanoes don't erupt anyway. This money is being WASTED by bureaucRATS who are pocketing YOUR money!

And after all the talk about your love affair with some Wild West sheriff last night, Jindal, I don't think you should be crying about legislation put in place to avoid what happened to your state in 2005. Then again, you wouldn't have been elected were it not for Kartina. So, I guess your attitude would be "Katrinas for all!" [Think Progress]

Jindal Had to Wake Up This Morning Knowing Who He Was, And What He Did Last Night, Part I

Oh! Oh God it's funny! The world hates Bobby Jindal! He ruined his chances for 2012 in 11 minutes! Oh God this is good!

From Little Green Footballs:

I just got off the phone with a very plugged-in Republican strategist who told me that Republican reaction to President Obama’s speech, which the party will roll out in the next few days, will mark the beginning of a new GOP approach to opposing the president’s initiatives. (No, Bobby Jindal’s ineffective response was not part of that new approach — everyone seems a little embarrassed about that.) The Republican leadership in the House has concluded that in the stimulus debate, the GOP succeeded in dominating a number of news cycles but failed to score any points on actual policy. That, the leaders believe, has got to change.

Oh, don't let it stop! The freaks even hate this freak! 

Hi! I'm Bobby Jindal!

Good God this guy sucks!

Has anyone ever sounded more fake? THIS is the guy Republicans are looking to become their next big thing? REALLY?

He looks like one of these car dealers who's trying to run his first self-made commercial. But he can't because he can't act for shit. You can actually see his eyes going back and forth, reading the teleprompter.

And cool it with the Hurricane Katrina shit. It was your guy, George Bush, who put a horse cleaner in charge of FEMA, then bit the pillow for two years because he fucked America and hates black people. So don't tell me how you're friends with a --

motherfucking

-- sheriff. I mean, am I supposed to be impressed? This isn't the Wild Wild West. Fuck.

• Bobby Jindal believes in creationism. That means, the world was created 5,000 years ago by a guy with a white beard. He put a man and woman in a garden with talking animals. Jindal called this idea "The very best science."
  
• Bobby Jindal also believes his wacky science should be taught in schools.
  
• Bobby Jindal has participated in at least one exorcism.
  

It is for these reasons, that Bobby Jindal is not a conservative superstar. He's a conservative superstar because he's one of three colored guys they've got. And you want to run this fucker in 2012? Go for it. You'll lose the birth certificate wack jobs. A new brand of birth certificate wack jobs will come from the left and claim "JINDAL WAS BORN IN INDEEAA!" [USA Today]